Climate chill for Kevin

So, Kevin Rudd gets back among the real people after trying to swagger across the world stage in Copenhagen. There was more than a hint of small-man syndrome in the size of Kevin’s retinue as he strutted his stuff with a 140-strong Aussie cheer squad to bolster his ego. Pity about the carbon footprint, Kev.

Back now in the land of coal mines, Kevin’s got some re-thinking to do. His best mate, China, pulled the plug on the world’s hopes for a climate deal and that has created serious doubts about the policy wonk’s plans for a Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. Worse is that Kevin massively misunderstood China’s approach to Copenhagen and has finally revealed that his mastery of Mandarin does not translate into understanding of China’s political imperatives. At Copenhagen, China did what it said it would do and has proved it will steer its own course regardless of the pressure of developed nations to pay a higher price for progress than it sees fit. Kevin’s loss of face is substantial and it weakens his purported ability to prevail in any way on the Chinese. There will be no breach between the two nations but Kev can kiss goodbye any pretence that his influence with the Chinese is any greater than the leader of a Micronesian island state.

There were many who tried to tell Kevin not to force Australia to the forefront of global action in tackling planetary warming. Just wait to see how it pans out they advised, but our Kev is not one for listening to anyone else. The Master of Detail trusts only his own judgment and he was sure he was backing a winner in trying to lead the race all the way from the starting gate. Now that the race has been abandoned with no declared winner, Kevin’s left to ponder what might have been.

His trusty aide, Penny Wong, has already started bleating that the collapse of Copenhagen was all Tony Abbott’s fault. In what sounds remarkably like a small hissy fit, she has accused the alternative Prime Minister of ‘willing the talks to fail’. Bad boy, Tony! Very naughty. How dare you stay at home and try to make sense of this whole issue so the Australian people can actually understand what’s going on and how much it is all going to cost us in the long run. Coz we’d sure like to know and we can’t understand a thing that Kev’s got to say on the topic.

One thing we can be sure of is that tonnes of greenhouse gases will be emitted from Canberra as Kev and his mates talk up a storm while trying to work out what to do next. They should all take a cold shower and think slowly and clearly about what Australia realistically should do to minimise pollution while still protecting our quality of life and living standards. It’s an opportunity to go back to the drawing board and adopt a less strident and take-no-prisoners approach that will cost this nation more than it can afford.

And if you want to do your bit for warming, Kev, travel lightly and don’t use that hairdryer quite so much, mate.