Tony Abbott, you’re a goose!

How dumb do you have to be to let Julia Gillard beat you? Well, deposed prime minister Kevin Rudd is still smarting over that issue and for the life of him cannot work out how things went so badly wrong. At the last election, Opposition Leader Tony Abbott reckoned he had her on toast but the electorate was in two minds and delivered a hung parliament.

Gillard managed to cling to power and despite some tantalisingly close tumbles has managed to avoid slipping over the edge into the abyss. All the while the opinion polls demonstrate very clearly that we do not particularly like her and most of us don’t trust her.

So, what did Tony Abbott have to do to become Prime Minister? Maintain some reasonable pressure on his damned-near vanquished opponent and not offend anyone. Not rocket science. Barely even Politics 101. But, as recent events have shown, way beyond Tony Abbott’s capacity to master.

You’re a goose, Tony. I regret this is so because when the privileged few get to hear you speak live, it’s a most pleasant experience. You are smart, personable, intelligent and convincing.

But as a media personality and parliamentary performer, you’re a train wreck. Seriously, mate.

If you don’t wise up real damned quick, Tones, you’re for the scrapheap. And, truth be known, there will be far fewer mourn your passing than do KRudd. That one I can’t figure out, I confess, but it’s a true story nonetheless.

You just could not take your foot off her jugular, could you? Just would not let go.

Tony, we Aussies don’t like that. It’s not our way. That said, it’s beyond question that we Aussie males are fairly often ham-fisted in our relations with women. A bit blunt and frequently forward. But when it comes to the treatment of women in public, there is a line we prefer not to be crossed. You have trampled that line into the dust. Again and again and again.

And many of us can’t work out why.  You are highly disciplined (in other areas of your life), intelligent, charming, courteous and considerate. But you have developed a blind spot towards Julia Gillard that is not any longer excusable. She has trumped you and it merely remains to be seen how quickly the hand ends.

It is frustratingly strange because most  non-partisan voters don’t appear to  think you are demeaning of women or misogynist. They just recognise that you simply cannot get past Julia Gillard being PM. Hey, it is not a turn-on for most of the rest of us either but we have learned to live with it for as long as it takes. That is all you had to do – but you could not.

By contrast, your delightful wife, Margie, is an absolute winner. We respond really well to her. Partly because we can tell she would never lower herself to the rather tatty world of life as a politician. That she believes in you as sincerely and deeply as she does is the best thing in your favour. But you have let down your own wife (and daughters) by your obsessive behaviour towards the Prime Minister.

It really is an unpardonable sin because – no matter how poorly performing this government is – Julia Gillard may now well lead Labor to another election victory. Because of you.

Disgraced Governor-General John Kerr was, and remains, reviled by a large segment of the nation. If Labor gets back because of you and your blind spot for Julia Gillard, Kerr may appear as a saint by comparison.

You are so close to being out of time, Tony.