Psycho killer kids

Spare us from bloody do-gooders. Honestly, their fears and paranoias are more infectious than virulent viruses.

The latest illustration of this is an Australian study that assessed the mental health of kids in childcare. Over a period of two years it reviewed 5000 youngsters in remote, rural and urban centres. The conclusion: that one-in-ten of our toddlers are deranged.

Well, no, they didn’t quite go that far but they did claim that 10% had abnormalities and another 9 per cent were borderline and close to being classified as ‘at risk’.  Got that: one-in-five our future generations are nut cases before they’ve even left childcare.

And you’re quite right. I’m not taking this seriously. Nah, I don’t have any qualifications in psychology, psychiatry or even chiropractic. And I’ve no doubt there are quite a number of people who think I’m not at all ‘normal’. God forbid!

The authors of this study are now arguing that there is a need for early behavioural intervention for the littlest members of our society. They haven’t even got to school yet and these academics want us to start electro-shock therapy. Even the brothers and nuns who belted me to within an inch of burger patty status were never that bad.

You might take some relief from a statement by the boss of Australia’s major anti-depression organisation who reassures us all by saying our pre-schoolers  are not suffering depression of anxiety. Whew, that’s a load off our minds, eh? Oh, but hold on she didn’t stop there.

This wonderful ex-politician who did lean rather far to the left then said: “We are talking about social, emotional and behavioural problems. These are kids whose behavioural spectrum is not within the normal spectrum.” She urges us to let shrinks undertake early intervention with these sociopaths in the making so we can prevent them developing more serious mental health issues later.

Tell ya what, lady: I know who’s not normal and it ain’t the kids.

And do you know what alerted these brilliant academicians to the weirdos wreaking havoc in our childcare centres? They found temper tantrums, fighting, hyperactivity, not-quite-right peer relationships and some anti-social behaviour. Well, get outta here. Who could ever imagine a whole gaggle of infants barely out of nappies being unruly when in a crowd of their peers? Clearly, whack jobs in the making.

I’ve just one question: did it occur to any of these people that the harsh reality of being immersed in a childcare centre when the ‘outside world’ is such a huge and daunting experience compared to the familiar and supportive environment of home could just occasion the slightest twinge of ‘strange’ behaviour in these little darlings missing their parents?

No, let’s assess them as nearly all borderline neurotic. That’s a much safer conclusion than the unavoidable reality of the price to be paid for modern working life.