Gillard the Queen Pixie in the fairy garden

Australia’s Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, is losing her grip on reality and slipping into a fantasy land in which she thinks the nation will somehow vote her back into power. Her descent into delusion is reminiscent of Richard Nixon’s darkest of days during Watergate when he was a shambolic caricature of a President.

Gillard has tenacity, you have to give her that. She is a fighter and she is demonstrating cojones larger than anyone else in the national parliament with, perhaps, the exception of Bob Katter. But Gillard’s two balls sound distressingly like those of Captain Queeg in Herman Wouk’s The Caine Mutiny.

The latest illustration of her manic madness is industry policy. Lord knows who dreamed up this confection of anti-competitive measures that would drag Australian industry back to the dog days of protectionism last seen half a century ago.

The proof of the mad hatter’s pudding is an initiative to bolster purchasing of local products. A sensible enough concept in itself but it is the Gillard Labor idea of implementing it that is scary. Get this: they want to embed ‘Australian Industry Opportunity Officers’ in our largest companies. They would ‘assist’ industry to purchase locally-made goods. That’s right: place public sector bureaucrats into our leading private sector wealth-generators. Should be a good fit. And then they want to create another red tape factory in the form of the Australian Industry Participation Authority. Heaven knows what that mob would do but you know they would need a lot of people to meddle in the affairs of others.

And we all thought Ronald Reagan had killed-off the last remnants of Eastern Bloc socialism. Nah, it lives on here in the Australian Labor Party. Talk about a time-warp.

But if all that is not scary enough it is the idiocy of Gillard herself that suggests purchasing a one-way ticket to New Zealand might be a sensible precaution for the rest of us.

Consider that Gillard is to have the furniture in the prime Minister’s office revamped. They probably have not been able to get Kevin Rudd’s bloodstains out after he was butchered by Gillard and her clandestine cohort in the last night of the long knives.

The chairs are to get $42,000 worth of lavish leather draped over them by skilled craftspersons. Mind you, the colour scheme notes that the leather is contrasting shades of burnt orange and grey which leaves one just a smidgin uncomfortable.

But it’s not the colour that’s the worry here.  This job will feature – bear in mind all the hoo-haa about local purchasing that Gillard herself is promoting  – Scottish hides. The notion is that Australian hides have too many marks and scars on them from barbed wire, ticks and scratches.

Hmm . . . one of the central planks of Australia’s mythical outback identity is not suitable for our Prime Minister’s office? Yet she wants to impose public servants on our major companies to ensure THEY buy local. The woman needs a straitjacket.

Maybe an Australian Industry Opportunity Officer should be placed in her office? But the likelihood might be that he says to get rid of the incumbent because of her Welsh roots.

Wow, do we really have to wait until September to get rid of her?