Category Archives: Travel

January 13

Aussie idiots abroad

The myth of the rugged Aussie individualist – strong, self-reliant and savvy – is being exposed as a flight of fancy by young Australians who are a pathetic disgrace to our notional national identity. The ratbags unravelling our sense of self-worth are generally younger travellers who take off to see the world but cry for […]

August 28

Losing the will to drive

    A remarkable societal transformation is taking place as young people thumb their noses at getting a driving licence. In decades past, having a motor vehicle licence was a highly-coveted status symbol signifying one had come of age. So much so that anyone who did not sit their learner’s test within weeks of their […]

May 15

Tickle your nose

There appears to be something in the coffee that Turkish men are addicted to because, as a nationality, they sport some of the best moustaches in the world. Big, thick Saddam Hussein-type upper lip growth. If facial hair is any indicator of virility, then Turkish men would never need Viagra. But given they have established […]

May 13

I just wanna swim with a polar bear

I just wanna swim with a polar bear. Okay, so they might be partial to some human flesh if it came their way on a cold day, but they are just so damned intriguing. They always strike me as cute and while I recognise that their native environment and untold millennia of genetic conditioning makes […]

May 11

I just wanna swim with a polar bear

Tales of the traveller – Chinese legroom

Travelling on China’s internal airlines is an experience – for many reasons including the ability to shoehorn fifty per cent more paying passengers on each flight than anywhere else in the known universe. Now, it’s not being racist to suggest the Chinese are generally somewhat lesser in stature than Aussies. Hey, some of my best […]

The lovely land of Lilliput

The Japanese are wonderful people, no question. But they aren’t the biggest bunch of blokes and sheilas in the world. If you were to be politically incorrect, you might suggest that many of them are tiny. Otherwise, you’d just say they were a bunch of short-arses. Nah, just kidding! But they are – generally – […]

You leave, you are on your own

  There are a few things that get up my nose (it’s a fairly big proboscis!). One of them is travellers. No, not those who enjoy wandering the world and seeing the sights, enlarging their minds as they go. They’re fine. The ones who really tee me off are those who get into trouble and […]

The silence of the little lambs

  Children should be seen and not heard. It’s an adage that has shaped attitudes through numerous generations but, in this frustratingly silly era of political correctness, many adults want to tilt the balance in favour of the tiny tots. We ought to shove a dummy in their mouths, I say. And I mean the […]

Tales of the Traveller

Letting off steam One of the great things about travel is the chance to occasionally enjoy a sauna or steam bath when staying at an upmarket hotel. Sure, you could do it at home on a regular basis but there never seems to be enough time or it’s just too much hassle. Oh, and the […]